pink.lemonade

it's saturday morning and i feel like i have stepped into the twilight zone.

i had this weeeeirrd baby dream of our own child. hilarious but weird. we were just released from the hospital with our baby and for some stupid reason we decided to go to mc donalds [priorities!] to eat. one thing. in real life i hate mc donalds and haven't been there in at least 5 years! so i found it rather odd that i was there to begin with. second our poor baby boy was in this crappy $5 stroller.. and INFANT! what is an infant doing in one of those?

i noticed our newborn was saying "diaper" [yea i know.. i guess i figured i had a child prodigy in my dream too.. my fetus is smarter than your fetus! lmao]. i took him to the bathroom for a change. it was then i realized i didn't really have everything i needed for a diaper change since i just left the hospital. i had two diapers and no wipes! NO WIPES! and i knew it was a poopy diaper due to the smell! "great" i thought. but thankfully mc donalds had a wipe station [i have actually seen these before, where they provide wipes etc. not at mc donalds though]. there were only THREE wipes left. i grabbed them and went to lay the baby down on the changing station WITHOUT anything under him [sorry i just think that's nasty.. especially for a newborn]. i am starting to freak out, people are watching me so i calmly tell them that this is my very first diaper change and it's a poopy one. it was one of those reallllly bad explosive poopy diapers.. runny nasty gross kind.

so there i am. with a naked baby.. bare butt on one of those nasty changing tables with no changing pad beneath him. i wipe his bare bottom with two of the wipes.. it seemed i had gotten everything so i used the last wipe to just "wipe" up and make sure everything was fresh and ready to go.. thats when he started to grimace and pooped allllll over me.. it was the diarrhea type. it was "spraying" everywhere! i started to panic.. 'what the hell am i going to do?' i thought to myself.. i dig back into my diaper bag and realize i brought a hand towel [wtf? i dunno]. so i stuck it in between the baby and the changing table and started to use it as a wipe.. the baby just continued going to the bathroom with every swipe i made. it was like i was stimulating him to keep going. by this point everyone in the bathroom is looking at me like i should have my child taken away from me. THEN [and i can't believe i did this.. even in my own dream] I LEAVE MY BABY ON THE CHANGING TABLE BY HIMSELF to get toilet paper from one of the stalls. when i come back.. my baby is in a SINK, not a changing table. [i do not find this odd one bit.. gotta love dreams]. i actually give him a bath in a dirty sink at mcdonalds using their foam hand soap, the day i am bringing him home.. so classy! he pooped all over the sink. and because i figured it was mc donalds, i just left it there.. so gross! ::sigh::.. i woke up laughing. i mean seriously. it was just so messed up. i also had a strong will/urge to go out and stock up on wipes and diapers lmao! and purchase a changing pad PRONTO! ROTFLMAO.. i still want to.. so strange. anyway that was my first baby dream ever.

my twilight zone saturday got better when i called david [he is at the gym] to tell him about my first baby dream. he then says "hey i was cleaning out your car and i found a note that said we had a nail in our right tire.....", i interrupted him right there because i wrote the note.. so i said "oh yeah.. i wrote that last week sometime while i was getting the mail.. i noticed the car next to me had a nail in his right front tire and i was going to leave him a note to let him know but was worried the car would sound off [alarm] and then i would look suspicious so i decided against it".. david sort of paused and said "oh.. well.. i thought it was for us.. so i got out of the car to check our right front tire and there is a nail in it"

WHATTT??!?!?! LMAO! omg.. how WEIRD! i guess that is God's way of punishing me for not leaving the guy a note on his car! OR God protecting us from a blowout and letting david find that note lol.. oh well.. whatever the reason it can be fixed.. i just thought that was strange!