pink.lemonade

one week until our big ultrasound.. i can't stop thinking about it.. it's so exciting that we are going to see the baby! last time we saw him/her it was just a blob on the screen with a beating heart.. this time it's going to look like a BABY!

i feel him allllll the time.. he reallllly loves to move around.. i notice it's usually after i eat meals.. and each day he gets stronger and more vigorous.. i can feel the kicks from the outside.. david is still trying to feel his first kick.. lol.. i think it's easier for me since i can feel them on the inside so i know where to look for them on the outside.. plus the kicks on the outside are still light taps..

all those years envying pregnant girls buying stuff for the little ones.. or planning stuff for them haven't worn off yet.. i still find myself envying pregnant women.. as if i wasn't pregnant myself or something.. then i think "OH YEAH!!! i am pregnant too..", and i am happy all over again like the first day i saw that little pink line show up... now that the baby moves around more i get the same feeling.. i bet in the next few weeks it will feel more "real" to me.. if not in a week then perhaps when we get to see a baby on the ultrasound..

i still have a feeling it's a boy.. which is why i refer to my baby as a him all the time.. and the more i think about it, the more i hope it's a boy.. david got this book called "in the womb" from the library.. it's really interesting.. it says EVERYTHING about my child has already been decided from the first second it was conceived.. the hair color.. the sex.. the eyes.. the temperament of the child.. whether or not my child will get my man hands or monkey feet.. or david's smile.. everything has already been decided! i can't wait to meet him/her..

of course i still have worries.. i had a quad and cystic fibrosis test done at 16weeks.. they aren't mandatory and totally up to the parents if you want them or not.. most don't get them since insurance doesn't cover it.. but we figured we might as well.. (i got our insurance statement yesterday letting us know they did cover those tests.. thankgoodness lol).. i figured if something had shown up wrong they would have called me already.. the nurse told me in the beginning if there is nothing to talk about they will just go over the results of any of my tests at my next appointment.. so i am taking that as a good sign.. but still.. i wish they would just call me either way and let me know.. i reallllly hope the baby lets us see if it's a him or her..

i have defiantly gained weight this month.. my doctor will be proud.. but i feel fat.. i don't have any sign of a pregnant belly.. i just look.. fat.. of course from the side when i am naked you can tell i am pregnant.. but with clothes on and/or from the front.. i just look like a fat tub of lard.. david and i went to gap maternity in dallas last weekend so i could try out some of their maternity clothes.. i am glad i did because i figured a lot of their stuff would look good and/or fit me.. um no.. size 8 pants were WAY TOO LARGE in the butt and thighs.. size 6 fit well but the style of the maternity jeans just looked fug on me.. i almost cried in the dressing room i hated the way i looked so much.. i think i am going to get a bellaband and hope for the best while in germany.. i refuse to spend $65 on a pair of jeans i feel ugly in.. i saved my size 10 lucky brand jeans when i lost all of that weight.. i was going to sell them on ebay but figured i might as well wait until i get pregnant to make sure i won't be able to use them after the birth or something.. i hear mixed reviews on the bellaband.. some girls say they hate it, some say they love it.. those who say they hate it looooovvee maternity jeans.. so maybe i will fall into the LOVE IT group since i hated the maternity jeans lol.. i am hoping i LOVE something soon otherwise, i will be screwed... my pre-pregnancy pants still fit right now.. well for the most part they do.. they are perfect when i am standing up.. but as soon as i sit down i have to unbutton and partially unzip them to feel comfortable.. even in the car! in three weeks i am sure that is BOUND to change..

and my favorite photographer who i had purchased that action set came out with another set for adobe photoshop lightroom.. so now i want lightroom! lmao.. $300 blah.. photoshopCS2 was like $600 a few years ago when i got it (now HALF that price!).. if you ever want to invest in stock or something.. ADOBE would be a good company to go with.. they have the most expensive software i have ever seen.. anyway, i qualified for her free extras action set that is going to cost others $50.. she is still working on getting it out.. but i am hoping she has a lot of the same lightroom presets in the extras set.. even if i wanted lightroom.. it's not like i can afford it right now.. too much we need is more important.. and i am beyond blessed to have photoshopCS2 as it is.. i still want to upgrade that to photoshopCS3 someday.. probably never though (an extra $200 just for the upgrade).. at least i won't have to pay full price for CS3 if i ever do decide to upgrade.. lol..

MONEY MONEY MONEY.. blah blah blah.. i often tell david he is lucky because i am not "high maintenance".. you know.. the wife who has have pedicures/manicures.. (i have only had ONE pedi in my entire life).. dye my hair.. upkeep on the trendiest of clothes.. a few purses that are a couple hundred of dollars each.. a bunch of shoes.. (i am a flipflop/tennis shoe girl).. the nice expensive car.. things like that.. and he always says "uh.. yeah.. sure..".. HAHAHA now i know what he means.. instead.. i am buying software that costs more than that stuff put together.. plus i own an expensive camera and want to buy lenses that cost more than the camera itself! all-clad pans.. all kinds of top kitchen crap.. i am just a different type of "high maintenance".. granted my stuff will last a whole lot longer and will benefit my entire family than just myself compared to all the other materialistic crap there is in this world.. i only invest in my hobbies.. baking/cooking and photography.. lmao.. i have to justify myself somehow..

and mom don't you dare say anything.. spending stuff on my camera/cooking/baking is the same thing as mountain bikes/camping gear/all that other outdoorsy stuff you get.. :o) just be happy it isn't on things that will only be in style for two years tops.. mmmkay?!