pink.lemonade

without revealing too much. i had a mini nervous breakdown last night. that ended with me in tears for hours (couldn't stop them). stuffing my face in mint chocolate chip ice cream (i have hardly had any ice cream during this pregnancy) and going to bed super early! that's right, we didn't go to class last night. we were halfway there when my breakdown began. crying felt good and feel like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders. david is a bit disappointed in us skipping the class (waste of money) but i think he realizes that i am overwhelmed and need a break. i wanted to continue our class today if i felt better. however, david thinks we should stay home and tackle my to do list together this weekend. if anyone is wondering why david hasn't helped me to begin with, it isn't because he is some big meanie pants, it's because i have pretty much demanded i do it all by myself. i am very particular in how things are done. (major OCD). i think david pretty much had it with me stressing out and DEMANDS i let him help me from here on out. ::sigh:: i don't want him helping me clean the house (he can scrub the bathtub though). i also don't mind him helping with a lot of the other things that need to be done. so maybe he is right. we should stay home today and tackle a lot off that list. after all. it takes me three times longer to get things done these days. i can't bend over and find myself out of breath a lot. sleeping is a bit harder the last few days too. i wake myself up every single time i roll over. it's like running a marathon just to roll over! 

i have found 5 pediatricians to call this week. i hope there will be a winner (i.e someone accepting new patients). 

i also want to go back to that ice cream i had last night. as i was eating it i knew heartburn was to come (i was so stressed i didn't care at that point). ashton's butt has been up in my stomach for weeks now. even water gives me heartburn! so imagine my surprise when i didn't get ANY heartburn at all. i think that means he has dropped o___O. i was 50% effaced last wednesday(not much progress and really doesn't mean much at this point). i have had to pee a lot in the last few days, so i wouldn't be at allllll surprised if he has dropped. the lack of heartburn is a big sign that perhaps he has dropped. don't you think? i wonder if it was just a fluke. lol. i guess time will tell.