a not so 'HAPPY HALLOWEEN' :o(

a sad pumpkin for a sad girl

i am feeling a tad bit better today.. only by a tad.. david is feeling ill and is moooody tonight (understandable, considering i know how crappy one can feel when they are sick. but it wasn't something i was excited to deal with either). we decided to vote early tonight to skip the headache on tuesday.. i am glad we did since it only took us 5mins. afterward, david insisted on getting pumpkins to carve. he hallowed out his pumpkin and went straight to bed.. without even saying anything to me.. i was sitting there for a good hour waiting for him to bring his pumpkin over to the carving area and carve our pumpkins together like we do every year.. when i realized he wasn't even in the kitchen anymore. so, i carved my pumpkin alone with a huge box of tissues. then i cleaned up my mess.. took a few pictures of my pumpkin.. blew out the candle and decided to write this blog. yay for halloween!  

i hope ashton's first halloween isn't as cruddy as this years. 

we have a big weekend planned.. tomorrow is our labor/delivery tour at the hospital and sunday is our first birthing class.. with david feeling sick and me being a big emotional depressed mess, i can tell you right now it isn't going to be a fun weekend. :o( hope everyone else had a happy healthy safe halloween!

not a good week in our happy household.. 

first, i get sick with a sinus infection.. i get a little better and now i am worse than i have been yet this year.. i am almost positive i have hay fever! i feel like poo.. i reallly reallllllly do. my eyes itch.. my throat is starting to swell/itch.. i can't stop sneezing, my nose is raw (and burning inside).. my tooth is still tender.. i am extremely dehydrated right now.. stuffy heavy head.. nose won't stop running.. i haven't been able to get any good sleep in three days.. i am exhausted.. 

david is also getting sick. but he thinks his is an actual cold (just great if it is.. i mostly will be catching it next then!).. he almost called into work sick today. he has never called in sick before. even when he was sick. if he didn't want to save up his vacation for ashton's arrival he would have.. he also dropped our toothbrush on his toe this morning and it's all black, bloody, and bruised (sonic care is a heavy tooth brush).. then he hit his head on the TV while gathering up his work computer. not his day is it lol?! last two days he has had to deal with me freaking out about stuff.. it's been a tough week for him. :o(

ugh i am so tired of being sick.. i have crap to do.. instead of getting things done, i have infested our couch.. you should see it.. thick layer of used tissues everywhere (when you are sleeping you don't think about putting it in the trash). and poor ashton.. all this benadryl makes him sleepy.. he hardly moves around when i take it. but mama needs relief! i just had like two huge glasses of water to help with my dehydration and now i am nauseated.. blah.. i am craving dairy like crazy but want to avoid it in hopes it will help clear out that mucus.. i swear i feel like all i do is whine about being sick lately.. i can NOT wait until david and i feel better.. 

the only plus side is that at least my house is somewhat clean and i have been able to catch up on "Bewitched" [tv show]. 

whew.. another busy weekend already ahead of us.. david signed us up for two classes this evening (child birth and breast feeding). Saturday we get to tour the hospital and labor/delivery and Sunday is our first birthing class (it's a three weekend class).. our breast feeding class isn't until Nov. 19th. we still want to take an infant CPR class but decided we will wait until December or so to take it. 

today has been a stressful day for me..my apartment complex had me completely freaking out.. i won't get into all the boring details (i am exhausted just thinking about it).. but let's just say i called david up fr-ea-k-ing out. i was in tears..it's a good thing david is the most wonderful husband in the world and made everything sunshine and rainbows again.. 

still have sinus issues.. :o( i can at least eat normal food.. so that's a plus.

 

of course i am feeling better.. company is gone right? ugh. typical. yesterday i decided to forgo any pain/sinus meds. i have been taking them for four days straight and figured i should probably lay off them (the best i can) for a while. i was shocked to realize i went the entire day without any meds. then i fell asleep without taking any pain meds (something i was going/wanting to do). i woke up a few times for a few mins here and there last night with slight jaw/tooth pain.. but it was defiantly tolerable and moving my head to the other side helped ease the discomfort.. it's been over 24hours that i have had any pain meds.. my tooth is still sore when i eat normal food but if i eat slow and careful enough i am able to do it. 

emily at the botanical gardens.

will share more later when i have more time to process.

i am sad that my best friend and emily are gone. i feel like there was so much more i could have done with them. i was able to take pictures yesterday but after reviewing them this morning i am extremely disappointed in myself.. very few came out creative imo.. very few came out great at all.. i blame the fact we were short on time and weren't able to get to the spots i had envisioned (bff and i know why we were so rushed lol). plus my big belly made it impossible for me to get on my knees or move easily to get up close adn personal with emily. ::sigh::.. oh well. don't worry tanna i will still send you a cd.. david thinks i have at least 10good "creative" pictures.. i dunno.. i feel like tops i have is five..  it's obvious i haven't picked up my camera in awhile.. i left my ISO at 800 for most of the pictures and they came out grainy with a lot of noise.. i couldn't figure out what i did wrong.. after looking at my meta's i realized what i did.. shame. i just couldn't get it all together like i should have.. maybe my sinus infection contributed to lack of brain reasoning lmao.. or maybe i just suck as a photographer.. :o( who knows.. what i do know is that i need that 50mm prime lens.. i wouldn't have had to set my ISO to 800 if i had a better lens.. i also shot in RAW for the first time. i was not really pleased with my results but again i didn't really do it correctly. i need to start practicing with RAW if i plan on getting better with it. i also need to invest in a couple more CF cards.. if i shoot in JPEG i can get 1500 images on a 2GB CF [compact flash] card.. shoot in RAW on the same card and you can only get 200 images.. HUGE difference huh? i am determined to stick with RAW. i just have to slowly invest in more flash cards.. that's all.. 

well, i did get my BIG cleaning done before my friend made it here.. i got everything out that i wanted out (except ebay.. i hope in two weeks it will be allllll gone).  next phase for me is deep cleaning.. where i get into the nooks and crannies.. i did a lot of that last week but not all of it.. time to make a new list.. once that is done the fun part of nesting can start.. washing all of ashtons things and sewing stuff for him etc. i can't wait. i am just so happy that i got done with the gutting of our apartment. i look around and feel relaxed that i can clean today and not have a lot to do. it's a great feeling! david loves it too.. we sat around last night and he kept commenting how great it was to have all this room.. it is great.. once i get it all completed i will share pictures of our tiny 550sqft apartment for a baby lmao. 

still in pain. :o( still miserable.

are my antibiotics working or not?! my teeth stilllll hurt. even more so when i eat. i have been forced on a liquid diet that isn't doing me any favors. i tried eating a sandwich yesterday and ended up in a lot of pain and unable to enjoy the day. on the other hand, i was able to get some rest last night without waking up in pain every half hour. i think my pain med combo works when i am not using my mouth. i used to take benadryl sinus and allergy. it didn't really work with managing my discomfort.. it also required a heating pad every 30mins. just to get some rest.. i ended up switching my formula to sudafed PE, regular benadryl, and two tyelnol and the pain seemed to disappear for awhile (3hours tops).. only for awhile though. it's still tolerable and i don't really need narcotics to help with the pain.. however, i am really exhausted from the constant pain and fact i can't eat normal food at all! 

my bestfriend and her daughter are still here and i have not been able to enjoy them one bit thanks to the pain. i am getting aggravated with it. i feel like narcotics is the only way out at this point. it would allow me to have a real meal so i am not starving to death and able to enjoy ONE day without one once of pain. but at the same time knock me out for a week. i just want the pain to stop. when are the antibiotics going to kick in and kill the bacteria causing my problem huh?! working on day three here! throw me a frickin' bone!

i haven't taken any pictures of emily like i had planned. i would love to but with a sinus headache and tooth pain do i really want to get down and dirty to take pictures.. no. i don't. my bestfriend thinks she is laced with bad luck and spreads it to other people.. the last time she was here i ended up with a sinus infection lol. funny how that works. i feel bad that i can't be a better hostess to her.

david has made up for it though. at least in my opinion he has. he spends a lot of time with emily. she played favorites.. demanded david follow her eve-ry-where.. at the park, he was the only one going down the slides with her.. tanna was busy taking cute pictures and i well, besides in pain.. obviously pregnant. david would have had a cow if i got on a slide.. i actually got stuck in a hole with emily and david was not amused.. lol.. tanna and i were in tears laughing so hard. we also went window shopping at our favorite town center. they had a water fountain and emily just had a BLAST with it! i sat there watching and thinking how crappy it was that i didn't bring my camera because there was a lot of potential. david made sure emily got close to the fountain. she ran around yelling "come on" and grabbing his hand pulling him to follow her the entire time.. 

later that evening tanna and i were laying on my bed alone.. we could hear emily playing outside in the living room with david.. it was like that for a few hours when all of a sudden it got quiet.. tanna noticed it and figured emily must have fallen asleep.. she opened the door to check it out and there she was.. fast asleep on david.. he was rocking her in our rocker, passed out.. in one arm she was holding/gripping her favorite teddy bear.. it was seriously a picture perfect moment but my camera wasn't charged and too far away for me to do anything about it. that was around 10pm or so and it's now almost 8am and she is still asleep! i haven't heard one peep from her all night. so as i said.. david has been the best this weekend and spending time with emily.. we have these bath letters that stick to the wall when wet.. she loves them.. she brings them to david and david will take them all out and help recite them to her as she lines them up on the floor.. she is one smart cookie..s he knows a lot of her letters all ready.. 

david is going to be such a great dad.. he really is.. watching him with emily proves it. HOWEVER, david has no clue how much energy a small toddler can have.. on our way home last night he mentioned how emily will be out like a light bulb since we took her to the park lolzzzzz. granted she did GO to sleep quicker than the night before, but it still took a few hours to knock her out. david looked like he was ready to pass out six hours before her LMAO.. either way.. david was patient and kind the entire time.. he is such a great person.. i love him!

well, i am hoping to have a better day today... my tooth still hurts as i am typing this but maybe it will feel better in a few hours.. at least i hope.. i have to take pictures of emily and today is the last day so i am going to force myself to try :o/..

i had a really rough night last night.. one of the roughest in a long time. i also witnessed a cat being run over a few times by the same car on the way to the doctors. it was very traumatic and i was in hysterics/tears for like an hour.. i can't stop hugging my cats today. anyway, the antibiotics have kicked in and i haven't needed any pain meds since 6am this morning. i am so happy i went to the doctor when i did because it got worse over night before the antibiotics kicked in (and that wasn't until this morning). i got so much done yesterday though. i am extremely proud of myself. i still have a lot to do today but it's no where near as much as it has been.. i bet i can finish it all in a few short hours.. i am going to be SO HAPPY when i get this place finished.. i am going to start ebay on monday. i can't wait to get rid of all this ebay stuff and have some extra money to spend on ashton lol. i have a million things i want to make for ashton so i need the $$. 

i tripped for the first time tonight. i landed on all fours thankfully but it still hurt. i was walking to the kitchen to get me some chocolate and my yoga pants tripped me.. david freaked out. i have to say i was pretty freaked out myself. i did NOT see it coming. i need to start being more careful! just wanted to document this moment lol.. hey i am 30 weeks with 70days left.. how crazy is that?!

ladies and gentleman.. this deserved a post by itself.  i am cleaning out the kitchen this morning. trying to get a lot done before i leave to see a doctor, and i decided i should probably throw out any old/expired food in the pantry/freezer/fridge. 4 and half HUGE trash bags people! HOW THE HELL did i have that much crap sitting in my pantry/freezer/fridge for so damn long?! no wonder i feel like i have NOTHING to eat here lol. it's a shame really. i need to work on not wasting food from now on.. maybe get meals by day. it's a pain to go to the store everyday but that is just ridiculous how much i threw out.  it makes me sick thinking about it. 

what cold looks like on a cat.

y'all, it's cold outside. 45f brrrrrrrr. i turned on the heater for the first time this season. i suppose the down comforter is coming out today! yay for fluffy soft beds!

my sinus infection is getting worse :0(. that means i will be seeing a doctor today..  i hope my doctor, whomever that may be, (i plan on seeing my internal med doctor but if she can't get me in i might just go to an urgent care place) doesn't give me a hard time for wanting antibiotics. i hardly got any rest last night thanks to the pain. it's doable and manageable during the day but at night it's getting worse. i need to nip this in the butt before it gets way worse and i find myself in the ER in the middle of the night crying and begging for drugs (this has happened more than a few times. the pain really is that unbearable). ugh so aggravating. i know i am getting these sinus infections due to allergies since i only ever get them when the seasons change! i also read that pregnant women are three times more likely to end up with a sinus infection.. so it sucks.. i just hope they give me what i want and i can get over this without it getting worse. 

i am tired today because i didn't get any sleep and i have been working my butt off cleaning this apartment.. i REALLy hope my immunity doesn't drop because of it. i can't afford to get sick. i still have tons to do in this apartment and my bestfriend is on her way today to stay with me for the weekend.. so i really have a lot to do today. this just sucks sucks sucks. 

NOT AGAIN!

it seems like i am trying to get another sinus infection. doesn't surprise me.. i usually get them every six months.. in the fall and spring (when the seasons change). it has to do with allergies or something. anyway my teeth are starting to hurt again. my sinus cavity is extremely close to my dental nerves. when pressure [from a sinus infection] starts building up it pushes on my dental nerves and causes extreme discomfort.. at this point the pain is manageable with tylenol and i have started up my netipot again to help clear out any mucus and pressure. also taking some sudafed with it.. i am crossing my fingers it gets better not worse. i really don't want to take antibiotics or worse narcotics because of the extreme pain i can end up in. if it shows no improvement by tomorrow i am calling the doctor.. this blows!

i have completed so much in the last few days. my energy levels have gone up again. i wonder if my thyroid had to do something with it. i was extremely tired in Germany. when i came back to get my [thyroid] levels checked the doctor told me i needed the 88mcg and was happy i started it instead of sticking with my old dosage.. it's been 5 weeks since i started the 88mcg, so i am almost positive that my borderline hypo was causing my low levels of energy. what a difference a small increase can do! don't get me wrong i am still exhausted by the evening (positive that has to do with me being pregnant). but i wake up fully refreshed and ready to start my day.. no naps needed.. anyway. i still have tons to do in my "nesting; phase one". hahaha. but my list is getting smaller by the day. with a lot of our crap/junk gone we are starting to have more room again! i just hope this sinus infection or pre-sinus infection goes away on it's own.. 

yesterday was a warm beautiful day. reaching over 80f. the weather forecasters claim it will probably be our last day of warmth for a long while. a big cold front is supposed to be headed through sometime this afternoon. it's 7:15am and i just heard thunder. part of me is sad to see this warm weather go (warm NOT HOT.. i am happy to see HOT weather gone lol). 

OMG I HAVE TO HAVE these!!!

wouldn't ashton look oh so cute in these?! OMG I am resisting to get out our credit card and get them.. lol.. they are handmade and a sign i need to stop looking at etsy.com

AH they are too stinking cute.. i might beg david to let me get them.

blogging from our little corner of paradise.. (i love this rocker)

our rocker is now in the "very clean" corner lol. i am loving it here.. the area isn't completely finished but the rocker has a home now. it's out of the way and david can't put his feet on the tv anymore.. he is putting together my nursing stool that he had to have right this second (not joking. babiesrus closed at 7pm. he still wanted to get it even though it was 6:45.. we arrived TWO minutes before they closed lol!). we also stocked up on more diapers (huggies) and wipes since we had a large coupon that expired in a few days.. we have another next week (pampers) lol.. diapers are expensive! i am glad we are getting them now.. it will be nice not to have to worry about getting diapers the first few months or six (let's hope). ha.

the place is still a big gigantic mess but the fact the rocker now has a home and is officially out of the way.. i feel relaxed and calm. i feel like i am on top of the hill and all that is left is down. i decided to keep my old computer drawers (think cheap plastic kind).. i am going to store it underneath the dining table where you can't sit (thanks to david's classy kegarator). i am on a huge, "sew ashton everything" kick. and i know i am going to need the space.. making space for him has been such a challenge yet surprisingly doable! 

i am seriously loving this corner! ;o)

annndddd. it's outta here!

8year old desk, vintage computer, beat up computer chair that didn't match one damn thing are finally gone! i didn't get everything done as i wanted.. as usual. but we did get the big stuff out.. either in storage, goodwill, or the trash. we still have a lot to do today. we have to deep clean the "corner". it's really gross.. nasty gross.. so gross i don't even want my cats to set a foot on it. david and i decided in order to put the rocker there, without feeling gross, we would need to get a rug to lay in the corner. and that is where our rug drama rama began!

i wanted to go over to target yesterday evening just to "look" at what they had.. i don't want to spend a load of money on a nice rug for our tiny apartment. i would rather measure and pay for a good rug when we get a house. i wasn't really planning on buying a rug last night. after viewing them for a few mins david said, "we're getting one". he picked out this nice 100% cotton rug.. nice but didn't really match our living room. i am sick of things not matching.. i did see some shag rugs.. i love shag rugs.. maybe it's the fact our carpet sucks (i am a wood floor girl myself) but i love soft fluffy things. they were affordable.. david thinks they look cheap.. not walmart cheap but cheap.. one thing i wasn't too pleased with is the fact they are made out of nylon.. david was persistent in getting a rug last night.. so without better judgement we got two new rugs for our living room.. the cheap shag rugs. ($100 for both). "at least they are machine washable" was my thought.

something about me buying the rugs without really looking at other places bothered me.. i ended up doing some research and found something called a flokati rug. they are made out of 100% wool and are machine washable. not too expensive.. i tried talking david into letting me take back my fake target shag (flokati look-alike) rug and buying the real stuff.. we are looking at $140 more for the real stuff (not really top quality. top quality flokati rugs can easily reach $1000) and to be honest.. the two rugs we have.. the sizes, don't really fit our living room very well.. so.. david thinks it's best to wait until we have a house.. where we can get a more accurate size that actually fits in the room. perhaps even get the better quality flokati and not settling for a cheaper quality real flokati.. he wins.. deep down i know he is right.. the cheap target fake flokati shag rugs are better than what we have anyway. besides they probably won't be used for more than a year. so there you have it.. we have two new (cheap fake) rugs.. i just pray the cats don't puke a huge ass hairball on them. 

we have a lot of work cut out for us today. our desk is gone and we have no where to store our office crap lmao.. nothing my beloved containerstore couldn't solve. so much to get still.. my list of DIY sewing projects is getting longer by the hour! the project craft bug has bitten me hard and i can't wait to start sewing stuff again.

i want to share a dream.. it's been awhile since i have had a weird pregnancy dream. last night i dreamed that i had ashton.. i waited a WHOLE DAY to feed him his first food and change his diaper. how bad of a parent does that make me?! i plan on breast feeding (in real life) and i gave my baby a bottle instead! then my little cute ashton turned into a cat (wtf.. i mean this has happened to me more than once in my dreams.. why do all my kids turn into cats?!) where i had to force him to poo and pee like the mother cats do with their young ones. it was so bizarre. i woke up to ashton kicking the crap out of me and feeling guilty that i gave him formula on his first day and felt like a huge failure for not breast feeding! lmao.

anyone want a temporary husband for a few weeks? mine is driving me crazy right now and is purposely getting on my nerves. he cleans (if you aren't particular about how things are done) and gives great foot rubs.. isn't too big of a picky eater (hates broccoli, mushrooms, and tomatoes..) though, he won't sit still and constantly does the opposite of what you want/ask.. he is fully potty trained and puts the seat down.. takes two showers daily.. you can only keep him for a few weeks though.. anyone want him? lol ;oP

seriously though, david is driving me bonkers today.. i wish he had somewhere to go or do so i could be at peace getting things done without him screwing things up. he goes on and on how he doesn't want me stressing out or feeling overwhelmed with what needs to be done. yet, he doesn't understand that his "help" or whatever he believes he is doing is only annoying and more aggravating and stresses/overwhelms me.. despite my protest.. why is it so hard for him to, "lay on the couch and watch tv or play on teh computer until i am done"?.. is it really hard being lazy? lol.. am i the only one who thinks lazy is the best and easy thing to do? HAHAHAHA.. 

i finally got all my old files transferred from my old computer to the laptop.. it required a thumbUSB file storage. now i can tackle the desk area to make room for the rocker (which i can't wait to finish. david keeps sticking his damn feet on the tv as a foot stool and drives me nuts! I wouldn't let my kids do it. so why should he? it also makes me nervous.. our tv weighs over 200lbs..the stand only holds like 220lbs or something.. maybe even less. with someone adding pressure to the tv it could cause the glass to break.. amiright?).. UGH. i wanted to get the office spot completely done today but david is starting to stress me out. if he would just sit still and stop asking me what i am doing every damn time it would be such a breeze.. in away i think david is like a toddler.. i should take him to the zoo.. let him chase birds and squirrels till he is blue in the face, tire him out so we can come back and he will take a nap.. LMAO then i can get things done in peace.. 

okay enough of me whining and bitching.. break over.. must get back to dealing with an adult sized toddler and trying to get this place finished before i go completely out of my mind!