whoa. mamma's getting fat! I just sat down on the couch with the laptop in my lap and i had to unbutton my shorts and unzip allllll the way.

we got a new laptop charger. it works so much better than the last one we had. i was finally able to record butterball's heartbeat. that was a feat on it's own. i have tried [unsuccessfully] to embed the wav file into my blog.. so i will just provide a link to my website where i was able to embed the wav file. the windy sound you hear towards the end is not me blowing on the doppler its actually the placenta.

[[CLICK HERE TO HEAR OUR BABY'S HEARTBEAT AT 13WEEKS]]

i really wish i hadn't put my baby stuff into storage last winter.. today we went to pull some of it out of storage.. david wasn't comfortable leaving it in there all summer etc. i wanted to wait until we got our elfa storage. we compromised and agreed to only bring out certain things that we did have room for. when we got there, we were shocked with how many spiders had invaded our storage unit. we also found mouse droppings! GAG [the storage unit is right across an empty field]. thankfully most of the baby stuff was sealed in plastic bins so no spiders or mouse droppings but never the less we decided to get allllll of the baby stuff out today. ::sigh:: this week i am going to have to work on getting that ebay crap out of here! that way we can get our elfa storage and have room for this stuff..

as we were bringing all the baby stuff back up to our apartment, david commented that he hadn't realized how much baby stuff we had already purchased and glad we started collecting this stuff years ago.. so am i. this stuff is expensive! i laughed and said "yup.. and imagine.. we don't have all of it yet.. six months to gooooo" lol.

we spent today laying around doing nothing but watching bad sunday tv movies and playing on the internet. lol. it was awesome! david kept wanting to get out and do stuff [mostly go to the gym for a swim] since it was such a beautiful day. i reminded him how he would have to work alllll day tomorrow and will wish he had stayed home. we had a busy day yesterday anyway. this will be a short work week for him thanks to fourth of july. I LOVE FIREWORKS! whoot! i really pray that the weather will be like today on the fourth.. it didn't even hit 90f and was really enjoyable outside. the next few weekends will be filled with all sorts of excitement. we plan on going to weatherford, texas for their annual peach festival [short 20min drive west of fort worth].. i have never been, but doesn't it sound YUMMY?!

saturday i said my final goodbye to my favorite neighbor ever, whitney.. it was a sad moment for me, but i am happy for her. i was thinking about her today when i was walkinghiking up the stairs to our apartment. how empty her apartment is. that sad empty sinking feeling came back. i wonder how long it will be until someone new moves in. i bet i won't like them. our two neighbors below are friendly. but whitney was someone i could trust. we spent a lot of time together.. taking walks to the golf course etc. oh well.. life is fullllll of changes.. some good.. some bad.. some sad.. it's life.

i can't believe my german trip is only two months away. i am freaking excited.. i can't stop thinking about it.. i absolutely LOVE visiting germany. seeing and being around my family makes me feel calm and relaxed. i'm not showing yet [but my pants are finally starting to get tight].. i need to start finding some fall maternity clothes to wear.. it's MUCH cooler in germany during the fall than it is here. which i am thankful for.. it stays like summer until the end of october in texas. lol. i was telling david this weekend how nice it will be to be 8-9months pregnant in the winter.. i won't have to worry so much about shaving my legs LMAO. isn't that sad?

it's saturday morning and i feel like i have stepped into the twilight zone.

i had this weeeeirrd baby dream of our own child. hilarious but weird. we were just released from the hospital with our baby and for some stupid reason we decided to go to mc donalds [priorities!] to eat. one thing. in real life i hate mc donalds and haven't been there in at least 5 years! so i found it rather odd that i was there to begin with. second our poor baby boy was in this crappy $5 stroller.. and INFANT! what is an infant doing in one of those?

i noticed our newborn was saying "diaper" [yea i know.. i guess i figured i had a child prodigy in my dream too.. my fetus is smarter than your fetus! lmao]. i took him to the bathroom for a change. it was then i realized i didn't really have everything i needed for a diaper change since i just left the hospital. i had two diapers and no wipes! NO WIPES! and i knew it was a poopy diaper due to the smell! "great" i thought. but thankfully mc donalds had a wipe station [i have actually seen these before, where they provide wipes etc. not at mc donalds though]. there were only THREE wipes left. i grabbed them and went to lay the baby down on the changing station WITHOUT anything under him [sorry i just think that's nasty.. especially for a newborn]. i am starting to freak out, people are watching me so i calmly tell them that this is my very first diaper change and it's a poopy one. it was one of those reallllly bad explosive poopy diapers.. runny nasty gross kind.

so there i am. with a naked baby.. bare butt on one of those nasty changing tables with no changing pad beneath him. i wipe his bare bottom with two of the wipes.. it seemed i had gotten everything so i used the last wipe to just "wipe" up and make sure everything was fresh and ready to go.. thats when he started to grimace and pooped allllll over me.. it was the diarrhea type. it was "spraying" everywhere! i started to panic.. 'what the hell am i going to do?' i thought to myself.. i dig back into my diaper bag and realize i brought a hand towel [wtf? i dunno]. so i stuck it in between the baby and the changing table and started to use it as a wipe.. the baby just continued going to the bathroom with every swipe i made. it was like i was stimulating him to keep going. by this point everyone in the bathroom is looking at me like i should have my child taken away from me. THEN [and i can't believe i did this.. even in my own dream] I LEAVE MY BABY ON THE CHANGING TABLE BY HIMSELF to get toilet paper from one of the stalls. when i come back.. my baby is in a SINK, not a changing table. [i do not find this odd one bit.. gotta love dreams]. i actually give him a bath in a dirty sink at mcdonalds using their foam hand soap, the day i am bringing him home.. so classy! he pooped all over the sink. and because i figured it was mc donalds, i just left it there.. so gross! ::sigh::.. i woke up laughing. i mean seriously. it was just so messed up. i also had a strong will/urge to go out and stock up on wipes and diapers lmao! and purchase a changing pad PRONTO! ROTFLMAO.. i still want to.. so strange. anyway that was my first baby dream ever.

my twilight zone saturday got better when i called david [he is at the gym] to tell him about my first baby dream. he then says "hey i was cleaning out your car and i found a note that said we had a nail in our right tire.....", i interrupted him right there because i wrote the note.. so i said "oh yeah.. i wrote that last week sometime while i was getting the mail.. i noticed the car next to me had a nail in his right front tire and i was going to leave him a note to let him know but was worried the car would sound off [alarm] and then i would look suspicious so i decided against it".. david sort of paused and said "oh.. well.. i thought it was for us.. so i got out of the car to check our right front tire and there is a nail in it"

WHATTT??!?!?! LMAO! omg.. how WEIRD! i guess that is God's way of punishing me for not leaving the guy a note on his car! OR God protecting us from a blowout and letting david find that note lol.. oh well.. whatever the reason it can be fixed.. i just thought that was strange!

birth stories like this one make me feel happy, relaxed, and powerful. i hope i continue having a low risk pregnancy. i so badly want to have a natural med free birth. we plan on giving birth in a birth center instead of a hospital with a midwife. giving birth on your back is the worst things you can do. it's unnatural and painful.

nothing like being humiliated! my in laws are in town this week. last night we went out to eat with them at a mexican food restaurant [and can you believe it. i was able to eat the food, but later felt sick]. david and i had spotted them from across the rather large parking lot and waved. but as soon as we were about 20feet away from each other my mother in law yelled.. no wait SCREAMED "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE WITH CHILD!!!!!".. everyone. and i mean everyone looked.. i could feel my face turning briiiight red.

it's 3pm. do you know when i woke up today? 12pm that's right ladies and gents. i woke up at NOON!!!! no, i didn't go to bed late. i was in bed by 12:30am. that equals to almost 12hours, but lets say 11hours because i am almost positive i got up a few times in the middle of the night to pee. here i thought i was starting to get my energy back and instead i get knocked over with another long night of slumber! oh well. what can ya do.

david keeps reminding me how good i have it since i get to stay home. seriously though, i have no idea how women with jobs deal with it! i don't even have severe morning sickness as some do. it's tough being pregnant! i was telling david the other day how i always knew that being pregnant was a "job" on it's own. but no idea that it actually DRAINS the life out of you! it's all worth it though and i am blessed in more ways than one. i should appreciate it more! david does so much around here that i should be doing. i mean i am the housewife after all. i stay home to take care of the house and my husband and david does more than me lately! without complaints!

even though i am sleeping a lot at night. during the day i do feel more energized and refreshed. i can't wait for 2nd trimester to get here! 13weeks and 3days is the official day. so that's this saturday! whoot! butterball's heartbeat is still going strong. i love his/her little heartbeat. i am still taking metformin [aka the drug that helped me get pregnant but is a pain in the ass to deal with]. i finally get to stop taking it july 8th! i bet that's when i start gaining A LOT of weight. i am still eating extremely well! lots of veggies and fruits, dairy and protein! yum yum yum. 

sitting here reminds me. i need to order a new charger cable for our laptop. ugh. i also need to buy one of these for my very expensive stroller that is just laying on the floor for the cats to use as a cat bed! ugh. nice. 

i also have a ton of stuff in our closet that needs to be boxed up and put into storage.  now that i am looking around more. we have more than just what i have been collecting in my closet. ::sigh::  david wants to get all the baby stuff out of storage [now that we are pregnant]. i am all for it, but i want my elfa storage before we bring that stuff back in. i was really close to getting it this weekend but decided to wait awhile.  i need to sell ebay first to get rid of all the ebay junk to make room for the baby stuff anyway.  we don't plan on being in this apartment when the baby gets here but david doesn't want the baby stuff in storage collecting who knows what. and you never know what will happen so we need to be prepared. 

so much to do. and here i am still typing away on the computer! nice. i want a new computer desk. lol. too bad it costs money! damn damndamn

12week appointment

dr. was sort of concerned that i wasn't gaining weight. but said it's probably the metformin and morning sickness. i didn't have any morning sickness so i guess it's the metformin. david has been saying that for awhile. my mom is wrong about my blood type. she printed B- in my baby book when i am in fact B+. i am happy because i was worried about the RH factor. now i don't have to worry about it. i'm also not anemic yay!

the medical assistant. though a sweet girl. is an idiot! she starts off by telling me that we might not find the heartbeat and for me to stay calm if this happens. i explained to her that we have a medical grade doppler at home and i have had no problems finding the heartbeat. i also tell her the exact spot where i have been getting the heartbeat [experts say you will find the heartbeat in the same spot for the most part and it's true]. she sticks it there for maybe one second when she starts moving it all over the place.. grr. then she stops RIGHT on the aorta vein and says "yup there it is. sounds good". um. that wasn't the heartbeat! that was my vein. i didn't say anything to her because one, she was really sweet and two, i already know there is a heartbeat so whatev. lol. i am glad david didn't come with me this time [he had a training class in lewisville today]. it was by the far the most boring appt and it sounds like my 16week appointment will be the same! the big ultrasound will be in august! yay!

i had to take public transportation today [aka the bus]. it took me and hour and half longer than it would have in a car [one way]. but it was a nice soothing experience. it's fun because you get to look at everything instead of paying attention to driving. seeing everything reminded me why i love living in fort worth. i found myself relaxed and not stressed out by bad drivers or traffic. btw i had to get up at six this morning to make it to the doctor appointment and didn't get home until 12:30pm. crazy huh? i was sooo tired i ended up taking a super long nap but before that i decided to check the baby's heartbeat since i didn't get to hear it at the doctors office. within a few seconds i had found it.. IN THE SPOT i told the medical assistant to check first! that still bothers me lol. when david came home he wanted to hear the heartbeat since it's been a few days for him. again it didn't take me long to find it and he commented on my super finder skills.. "wow you are good at it.. all the girls on the internet are always complaining how hard it is to find". it isn't once you know what to look for and what each sound means. my doctor told me i would also be able to hear the baby moving around in the fluid. i forgot to ask her what it sounds like but i have an idea it isn't hard to figure out.

after my shower i felt my uterus peeking out from my pelvic bone. it's ROCK hard! david could even feel it. so when they say it's isn't a baby belly unless its rock hard they mean it. it's REALLY hard lol. right now it's only a few inches of space. not very large but it's definitely peeking out now.

already keeping an eye on my butterball

making sure he/she aren't having any wild parties and trashing my uterus. :o) we finally got our doppler in. there was some hold up with the shipping company but they fixed it before i had a chance to be super upset over it [pregnancy mood swings are no joke. they are real and they are evil!]. i tried for 20mins looking for the heartbeat but all i could get was my aorta vein [sounds like woooosh-whooosh]. and lots of windy static. bummed and worried [of course] i went online to do more research. found out that the windy sound is actually your placenta. so i went back and found the placenta and left it there for a few mins when all of a sudden ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump. the baby must have moved enough for the doppler to pick it up. i sat there [with my mouth open and tears welling up in my eyes] for five mins listening to it. it got loud enough to sound like galloping horses! 167bpm. way up from 148bpm! i cried i was so HAPPY. and i am so in looooove! it really motivates me to make sure i am eating nutritiously and staying healthy etc. it's strange i have never had such strong willpower before! on david's bday i only had a few bites of cake and that was it!

david wasn't home yet when i heard the heartbeat so i stopped and tried again when he got home. i was able to locate it within a few mins but it wasn't as loud as it was for me earlier. then i tried again before going to bed. i just had to listen to him/her! it took forever but i finally got a faint heartbeat for about 30seconds.. i wanted more but decided to stop. i'm going to have to go out and buy more doppler lube that is for sure! it's amazing how i feel about my butterball. it's starting to feel real. i find myself [without realizing it] placing my hand over my uterus when i am laying down [sleeping or watching tv]. i keep it there almost constantly. i even talk to the baby even though it can't hear me yet! im jealous of david being able to kiss the belly. i want to kiss him/her too! i seriously am in love with this unborn baby! if i feel this way now no telling how strong it is when he/she are in my arms! oh i can't wait! i am over the moon right now! all over a heartbeat! david gets excited when he sees babies and pregnant women! he always comments on how beautiful pregnant ladies look! it makes me feel beautiful even though i am not even showing yet. babies looooove david! every single one just stares at him and as soon as david makes eye contact with them they smile! it's so sappy sweet but i'm tearing up as i write this. he is going to be such a great dad!

::::sighhhhh::::

oh yeah. DO NOT. and i said DO NOT go out and buy yomama yogurt! it has DHA and foliate in for pregnant and nursing mothers [all good stuff]. the first two ingredients are organic lowfat milk, and organic strawberries [or whatever fruit you are eating]. third MAIN ingredient.. anchovy oil, sardine oil, and some other fish talida oil [obviously for the DHA. but they do make PLANT DHA and they should have used that instead of nasty fish oil]. i understand my Rx prenatal have fish oil in them. and that's fine. i don't taste it because i swallow it! not swish it around my mouth before swallowing! my mom said it sounds awesome. um no. yogurt and fish mixed together is not natural, it should be illegal! gag. my mom kept telling me to try it but seriously if i do. it will break my 'no morning sickness' accomplishment. i am not a fish person. im thinking of driving all the way to central market to get some greek yogurt. i can't wait to be in germany again [less than three months away!]. they make this stuff called 'sahne yogurt' and it's absolutely sinful! my mouth is watering all ready! my oma always gets on to me for eating too much of it but it's just sooooooo good!

my mom is still in alaska. if you haven't yet you should check out their blog and pictures! they have done and seen so much already! their trip isn't even a 1/4th over yet! i was finally able to call her on her cell last night and it was so nice to hear her voice. it's been forever since i last talked to her!

our doppler records the heartbeat.. i need to get a new charger cord for our notebook. for some reason i am not allowed to plug the doppler into anything that is plugged into a wall.

11 week belly picture

i wasn't going to start doing these until i was actually showing. but then i was stalking a blog of another girl who is as far as i am and she has been taking them from the beginning and you can tell she has grown [though you wouldn't have known it if you only looked at the last picture of her]. makes me wonder if i have grown and just haven't noticed it. so now i am bummed i didn't start from the very beginning. oh well. live and learn. still no weight gain and i am eating like a pig. wtf. my 12 week appointment is wednesday and my stupid doppler is finally on it's way. they claim they shipped it on the 9th but it didn't actually leave until the 12th. blah. so hopefully it will be here in the next few days.

damn heat!

david's 33rd birthday is this saturday! we had planned on leaving for a road trip tomorrow to shiner, texas. camping down by the river but thanks to the texas heat [forecast 100f] and the fact i seriously can not tolerate the heat since becoming pregnant. we are staying here. david has off thursday and friday and ofcourse the weekend so he is looking forward to a four day weekend doing absolutely nothing. i am bummed. i really wanted to go on the camping trip. i can't believe its only the beginning of june and it's so damn hot.. where the hell is the rain? i hate our weather forecasters. they lie all the time. "we will get rain" um. no rain beotch. we can't do anything in this heat! im ready for fall already! now. if i was able to go to water park etc i might be enjoying all this heat lmao.

i am going to make david a sacher torte for his birthday cake. it's his favorite type of cake. it looks challenging and i am sure to screw it up lol. but i haven't baked anything in months so it will be nice change. oh but's it's hot outside. so yeah. baking+hot outside=not a bright idea. but screw it.

i am STILL waiting for our damn doppler. i am starting to get disappointed in this company whom everyone including the company bragged how awesome they are. it's been a week since i ordered and they still hadn't charged it to our card. they said the day they ship they will charge the card for it. well.. nothing is showing up so i emailed them asking what the hell is up. i chose the option for them to contact my doctor to get approval [another thing they bragged about]. i received a reply this morning stating that my doctor hasn't sent back the fax form [wtf?!] and that they processed my order on monday and shipped it already [do what? without an approval they shipped it? strange]. they gave me a tracking number and i tracked it this morning but all it shows is that shipment acknowledged on monday. what does that even mean?! shouldn't it be ON it's way if they shipped it?! i am so confused. if nothing comes by saturday i am canceling the order and going with a different company. this is ridiculous. two weeks to get a doppler when everyone else claims it took a few days! grrr..

i have more to write about but now i have a headache from all the disappointments.. re: road trip and damn doppler.. maybe when i feel better i will post a better happier post.

a sad day

my favorite neighbor is moving. i can't stop thinking about it. i feel empty, sad, alone and somewhat jealous. i am going to missssss her. i saw her moving some boxes out of her apartment this morning and felt sick to my stomach. i don't think i have told anyone this, but i used to have nightmares of her moving out. i would wake up in a panic, then sigh of relief, since i knew she was still there on the other side. i don't know why it's bothering me. i guess it's that security. i trust her. i know she is there. if there is a tornado headed my way i can run right over to her. if im bored and want to hang out with someone i knock on her door. now all of that is going away. i also don't do well with change.. i have known her for about five years and now i know when i drive home i wont ever see her car in the parking lot. no more running to the balcony to say hi or bye. no more emailing her to gossip/complain about our other neighbors.. no more walks to the golf course.. her little doormat will soon be forever gone. she removed most of her patio furniture and her little dragonfly wind chime on her front door.. i feel like throwing up. today is a sad day for me. i also feel like i will be losing a friend. she is moving on with her new life and i am still here.. also, i have a feeling i will not like our new neighbor[s]. what a wierd weird day for me.

boy or girl

a lot of people have already told me what they think the sex is going to be. i might as well write them down now so i don't forget. even though its like months away lmao

tanna- girl
tanna mom- girl
david- boy
me- boy
my mom- girl
david mom- boy
david dad- girl
amy- girl
mandy- boy

current tally:
boy: 4
girl: 5

not gaining weight.

what in the world? i have not gain one pound since being pregnant. i am 10weeks today. i see all these girls in my pregnancy groups that are complaining about their clothes fitting too tight at 7-8weeks and some of them have had to move to maternity. it's making me worry that my baby died and stopped growing or something. a part of me doesn't really believe that because when i bend down to pick something up or use my lower stomach muscles to sit up etc i can feel that my uterus has gotten bigger [can't really explain it, it's a very odd sensation]. but my clothes fit exactly the same. i still haven't had real morning sickness.. just the horrible food aversions in the beginning. so i am able to eat pretty much anything and let me tell you my body seems to be ALWAYS hungry. i don't understand if i am eating so much etc why aren't i gaining weight?

i guess it's more of me being worried that something is wrong. we ordered our doppler yesterday. they have to approve it with my doctor first since it's a medical grade doppler. the dr. said she would approve it but what if she forgot lol. ugh anyway. i just wish it would get here so i can relax that there is still a heart beating and i can be happy that i haven't gained yet. until then. i want to at least gain a few pounds for reassurance.

i have so many chores to do today. ugh. i hate days when i have a million chores to do. i think the worst is laundry. i have to walk in the heat all the way to the laundry room. david wants me to wait until he gets home to do laundry [he doesn't like that i carry a load of laundry now that i am pregnant] but i feel like i should do it NOW not later. i might not be this willing to do laundry in the evening PLUS i don't like how he does the laundry lol. so yeah. blah. blah. blah.

the cat is out of the bag

okay.. first off..

hallo stefanie [oder alex?]. ich sehe dich! offensichtlich ich bin schwanger. ich hoffen, dass du gut geht. ich hoffe, du im september zu sehen. :o)

second. i told my oma i am pregnant. today is her 78th birthday! it went very well and she is excited!

third. david is really upset about my next appointment. apparently he has some training stuff that needs to be done and won't be able to go. he pleaded for me to change the date. unfortunately it's impossible. the office is so huge with a huge patient base it would be WEEKS before i would be able to get another appointment. so then he said he was going to tell them [boss] to change his training.. hahaha.. i told him it wasn't a big deal. it sounds like they are just going to do a doppler thing. and we are renting one so it's not like he won't ever get to hear the heartbeat. the only issue is if they are unable to find it and actually do a sonogram. that would crush him :o(.. oh well he knew from the begining he wouldn't be able to make every single appointment.

his parents are coming to visit on the 17th and my appt is on the 18th. so it's going to be a full week. actually the week before that will also be full.. davids birthday is the week before that [14th] and we plan on heading down south near new braunfels for a four day weekend.. maybe hit up the shiner brewery in shiner, texas. we had orig planned to maybe go to schlitterbahn or six flags fiesta texas,, but obviously that is a no-no now.. lol.. we will figure out something to do. there is so much to see and do down there anyway.

you know. it's going to be ONE HELL OF A SUMMER. i can't NOT believe how HOT IT IS HERE! it's not even SUMMER yet.. grrrr.

i guess i should update about the weekend. it was loads of fun. i took tons of pictures but none of them are really that great. i will share a few anyway. we ended up winning one of the prizes! we didn't get any of the big stuff like the ipod or new camera but it was better than not winning anything. we ended up with a $25 giftcard to starbucks and then i won bingo on a full blackout [$10 walmart giftcard]. the picnic was on this ranch on the lake. it was so cute! we went home for a few hours to relax/cool off and then headed out to the concerts in the garden which was AMAZING. big band/old time jazz music. loves it! i love going there! tons of fireflies! they ended the show with fireworks. i can't wait till fourth of july. i bet i am not the only one who loves fourth of july. now. does anyone want to come over and go to the pool? it's so hooooooot here.. blah.. i do not like sweating!

poor little pony but oh so funny/cute!


tug o war. david is the light blue shirt



david playing ping pong


we actually won something this time!



grapevine, texas fire truck. the kids loved this. the firefighters let all the kids sit inside and play around.



we sat in the back. it's more secluded and relaxing


david and his $6 a bottle belgium beer.


close up of the band.


such a crappy firework picture. i blame the fact i don't have a tripod. only because i can take awesome firework pictures. don't believe me click here