good bye 2008 and good bye old blog!

well, tomorrow is ashton's due date and there is no sign of him coming any time soon. with that, i announce this blog will officially be deleted in a week. i have started a new blog that will be home to my posts from here on out.  

http://davidandanneplusone.blogspot.com/

this video had me in tears tonight. freaking hilarious! X-D

Ninja Cat @ Yahoo! Video

dr. appointment today. still no progress. he is going to stay in there forever. i just know it. been working my butt off getting this place ready. i still haven't packed a damn hospital bag. ugh. i feel like it never ends lmao. but hopefully it will all be over soon. 

ebay needs to be done. it's overtaking my dining room and makes all the hard work i have done seem unimportant. so i am starting it today. three items every two days until it is allllll gone! david thinks i am nuts for starting now considering ashton is due in a week. but when i think about it, it's the only time i will have slaves ::ehem:: i mean help from other people. my mom will be here on new years for a week and david has two weeks off when ashton is born. so technically, i will have three weeks where going to the post office will be easy as pie compared to me waiting until after ashton is born and everyone is gone and me standing in line with a screaming newborn while i frantically try to get my unwanted crap out of my house! i don't want to start it today. i feel really lazy this afternoon. 

i am so sick of everyone telling me, "you will just know"in regarding when i will have a real contraction. i mean, obviously i will know when i am in serious ACTIVE labor, but before that a lot of people don't know. example. braxton hicks are really uncomfortable to me. they aren't exactly "painless" like all the books tell you. they feel like horrible pms cramps and lately they have gotten a lot stronger in regards to feeling like my period is due any day now. which i guess if you think of it like that, it is. i had to go out and buy these pads that are as big as a house and i felt sad that i will have to wear them. anyway, my point is. i have no progress, according to my doctor said, equals to not having real contractions. so what i am feeling are just those "painless" fake labor crap contractions. but last night i woke up from DEEP sleep from having a painful "fake" contraction. it was only one. but um. how can i sit there and think "it's a fakey" when it woke me up from deep sleep? this waiting game is getting olllllld. then david's grandmother pulled me to the side last night and said, "i don't think i should tell you this, but i went overdue almost a month with my first"................. ashton i am telling your right now. you better not stay in there forever. life is so much more fun outside the womb, trust me. 

they tell you  not to do a lot of heavy work because it can cause labor.  so, starting today,  i will take my laundry to the laundry room by myself. i will ask david to park in the very back at every store or place we visit. i will finish this damn ebay. and i will sit on my birthing ball and bounce ashton out. i don't care how lazy or tired i am. i am DOING IT! 

merry christmas!

david and i had a wonderful christmas. we had planned to go to the zoo so i could get some serious walking in and hope it would force ashton out.  but we ended up lounging around alllll afternoon and a short catnap before the family christmas party. david's family held a small baby shower for me. we received (or should i say ashton received) a lot of cute stuff. my favorite had to be the cake. i didn't even think i was going to get one. they also sent out shower invitations that had ducks on them! it was delicious and so cute!! i received my lenses in time for christmas. let me tell you. it's very different taking pictures with them compared to my kit lens. for one they are prime lenses. so they don't zoom. and second, it's all new to me. i feel like i will need to relearn everything. here are some pictures i took this evening. 

i felt like a slob. it's the only outfit that fits me comfortably lol. but here it is. my 39week christmas belly!

our yummy and perfect baby shower cake. i loved it!

obviously i need to work on focusing correctly. i was aiming for the duck in my mind but ended up forgetting that you sorta havta aim the auto focus at the duck for that to happen. ::shrug:: hahaha. the duck is a temperature thermometer for the bath. isn't it the cutest?!

well, no progress. boooooo. i had a gut feeling there wouldn't be. i always jinx things lol. still 60-70% effaced though. we talked induction :o( i have a sonogram scheduled for january 5th to make sure he is okay etc etc and that will determine if i will be induced. she said she won't let me go pass january 16th (2 weeks past due) without being induced. so she is letting me give my body a shot at doing it's own thing. internals don't really say anything either. i could go into labor on my own in a few days (or weeks lol) so it's just more of a curiosity situation at this point. david was really disappointed. he keeps telling me that ashton will be here before new years. now he thinks we don't even have a chance.

the nurse scared me though. it took a few minutes to find his heartbeat today and she had this worried look on her face. i had an instant flash back of the morning events wondering if i had felt him move at all. he was up and moving when i went to bed late last night but wasn't moving this morning. finally we found the heartbeat and all is well. david and i had breakfast after the appointment and ashton started moving around a ton (as he is now). but good golly, i had never felt so sick to my stomach or been that scared before! lol. i am going to continue walking and doing my stretches. hoping that by my next appointment (monday) there will be some good news! 

david spoils me. i got what i wanted for christmas/birthday and some. tons of camera gear (yet somehow i could still use more lol). i also got a new camera bag that rocks the socks off anything i have ever seen. i almost paid $40 to have my new camera gear get here by christmas eve (tomorrow) since i am impatient and all, but i felt really guilty and ended up getting the cheaper $15 shipping that would get my package here the day after christmas. i received an email yesterday letting me know they upgraded my shipping for free and i will be getting it tomorrow on christmas eve. i checked the ups tracking site and it's already here in DFW. ack. so excited. 

i am so ready to have ashton. i want him now. last night i had a rough night. i kept having "painful" braxton hicks (painful=extreme gassy pain). i don't want to say they were real contractions but they were frequent for five hours. not in any type of pattern though. just all over the place. (10 min here, 13mins there, 7mins, 20 mins etc) i am hoping there will be some major progress at my 39 week appointment tomorrow. so far i have only been effaced (60-70% as of last week) and no dilation. my mom is flying in on new years and it would be nice if ashton arrived by then. david deserves the tax break.

everyone (strangers) asks about my belly now. i have gone almost 8 months without anyone ever asking when i am due etc. and now EVERYONE asks. david loves the attention i have been getting! i think i will finally pack my hospital bag today. i didn't want to tell david about my contractions this morning. i don't want him getting all excited and have him worry about me at work. but i told him later this afternoon once they finally stopped and he is making  me walk tonight at the mall LMAO. david is more eager to get him out than i am. david's brother is also in town and i STILL have to bake christmas cookies. it's so busy around here. i'm glad i have something keeping me busy though. i still have a few more items to sew but i am not really worried about it. oh and i finally retired my pre-pregnancy jeans this last weekend. they fit okay while standing up but sitting down is a completely different and uncomfortable experience. i only bought THREE maternity items my entire pregnancy. two maternity  shirts and my bella band (best purchase ever!). i feel like i really got lucky and david should appreciate i saved him major bucks on maternity clothing lol! i do feel a bit sloppy walking around in yoga lounge pants all the time but i figure it would be a big waste of money to get maternity pants at this point. 

i am so freaking excited about ashton. i just can't believe how fast it has gone. he is ALMOST HERE!!!! so many girls who were due the same time i am, have had their (healthy) babies already. i find myself overcome with envy lol.. 

do you know about the "i made you a cookie... but i eated it" LOLcat?  (for those who do not know what an LOLcat is. click here for a brief description) yesterday, as one of my favorite daily activities, i was browsing through some new photographers (new to me) on flickr. i try to get as much inspiration as i can before ashton gets here. i came across this one photographer, who i swear has the most beautiful cats i have EVER seen! he took amazing pictures of his cat. i instantly saved him as a contact so i could go back to his kitty pictures whenever i wanted. the cat looked very familiar but i just couldn't put my finger on it. then i came across the ever so famous, "i eated it" LOLcat without the words attached to the picture. you know. this one.

i felt like i stumbled on a celebrity. btw he (photographer) was NOT happy with whoever did this to his picture. lol but i think he has learned to forgive and forget, because as i went down his photostream he seems to embrace his famous cat. someone even published a LOLcat book and his picture is one of the most famous LOLcats of all time. this picture also does not do the photographer justice at all. you should see his other pictures of his famous cat. this cat is one of a kind i tell you. anyway. he posted a video of this cat always standing up and it just made my day. i love cats. 

he really has a special cat on his hands. i think all cats are special but this one is definitely taking the cake!

we went to our bi weekly chiropractor appointment this morning. david turned to me while we were getting therapy and said, "next time we we come here we will have a baby". 

o.m.g.

other news. david is 'sorta kinda doesn't wanna but will because he knows i deserve it more than anything' letting me get some camera gear. yipee! i am SO getting a new lens. it's not my dream lens. it's not even a lens i was even thinking about getting until i did more research. someday I WILL get dream lenses. but for now anything is better than my kit lens. i also need to get some studio gear. and a new camera bag. omg this is going to be awesome. 

zachary (david's brother) was supposed to fly in last night but thanks to our awesome weather yesterday (fog/drizzle) it was cancelled and he will be flying in on sunday.

today is a great day! SUNNY and warm and i have TONS of energy this morning. no surprise there. i'm telling you. i am a solar panel! feeling the sun hit my skin made me feel renewed. another artic cold front is expected on sunday with gusty winds. david is hoping zach's flight doesn't get cancelled again while i am hoping to be 100% finished with everything. tomorrow david and i are going to the nutcracker at bass hall. we try to go every year. usually we try to get box seats (the best seats ever) but decided against it this year just in case i go into labor. we will get box seats next year with ashton. they have a private sound proof room right next to each private box so if he starts acting up one of us can take him there without upsetting other people lol.  david wants to get ashton started early with fine arts. including ballet. 

i have mentioned how david never spends money on things he feels he doesn't need. even on stuff he even wants. i have to do it for him. he bought a piano cd the other day. i couldn't believe my ears when he told me he bought it. anyway. it's a great cd. i love listening to it. it relaxes me. ashton seems to like it too, he moves gently when i am playing it. david made me promise to play it for ashton all the time when he is here. i can tell david is hoping for a piano prodigy lmao. okay, not really. david isn't the pushy type. david just hopes ashton appreciates music and things of the sort. early exposure is best in his opinion. it's all good, i am hoping ashton will be into photography. as soon as he knows how cameras work i am getting him his own camera. it will be interesting to see what he comes up with. children see the world so differently than us adults. i never want to forget how he saw the world. my mom hopes he becomes an adventure lover as she is. with her around, i'm sure he will be.

i often sit here wondering what type of person ashton will become. what  kind of hobbies will he love. what foods will he hate.  i hope he is a good natured person who has empathy and respect for others. i hope he appreciates everything he has. i hope he looks at the world and loves it. i can't wait to show him how beautiful life truly is. i hope he looks back and loves his childhood like i do. it's amazing how much i want for him and i haven't even met him yet. most of all i hope he is just a happy healthy person who is loved by all. i also hope he loves me as much as i love my mom. 

i am so excited that this little person is coming into our lives. i wish he knew how much we want and love him right now. it will be years before he realizes it. but i am going to make sure everyday he feels how much we love him. how our life has become his. 

i'm like a solar panel. i don't have very much power if there isn't any sun available! lol. i have been so lazy the last four days. first two days were cloudy and below freezing and the last two days have been above freezing, but under 40F and drizzly/foggy. i love rain so i am more than welcoming the drizzle. however, i  do not have any energy unless the sun is out. i am slugging and david's brother is coming in tonight. the apartment isn't extremely messy (thankgoodness) and david would argue that it is messy. i don't want to get my lazy butt off the couch to actually pick it up right now, but i sorta kinda have to. :o/a week ago when i was freaking out about the apartment david told me it wasn't a big deal. when i pointed out that his brother would be in town next week and i had to have it finished, his exact words were, "zachary isn't going to care. it's not a big deal honey".

HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahaa. ehem. just fyi. last night, david was the one freaking out about the apartment. i pointed out to him that's not what he said last week. he doesn't recall saying it. just like i don't recall him saying i am expensive when i requested money for some gear i want. 

okay, yesterday i **wanted** to be lazy but after my doctors appointment i had to drive around town (and that isn't an easy task in a big city) looking for cookie cutters. i have no damn idea why martha stewart advertises her crap on national tv ("you can get them at Macy's") when Macy's does NOT CARRY HER CRAP!? i wanted to make these reallllly cute santa cookies for christmas gifts. i figured it has to be easy to find these cookie cutters. i mean we have a gazillion macy's in a 60mile radius. wrong. none of them carry her, "christmas cookie cutters", and they also don't sell them ONLINE! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!? why whore your merchandise out if you aren't even going to make it available to the public? doesn't make any sense. i finally found some at the chicago macy's.. you know the big one i talked about last summer. 9floors. yadda yadda yadda. but they won't ship them to me. so for the last two nights i have been tossing and turning in my sleep dreaming about stupid sugar cookie cutters.

after my long day running all over town, guess what i realized. apparently, a) everyone is baking christmas cookies this year or, b) stores don't think people bake christmas cookies. it took me 6 hours to find cookie cutters. i went to one williams sonoma and they didn't have ONE single christmas cookie cutter. after going to a million other places and my favorite (large) williams sonoma, i was able to find some christmas cookie cutters (on sale) but no SANTA COOKIE CUTTERS! ::::sigh::::. granted i found some really cute ones and i am not sure how they will play out in the end. but i realllllly wanted that stupid martha stewart santa cookie cutter! like REALLY wanted. so sad really because they would have been so cute to make! i also spent a fortune on dragees JUST for those cookies! and now i won't be making them! shame shame shame!

oh well. it didn't matter. at least i was gong to be able to sleep without dreaming about stupid sugar cookie cutters right?! wrong again. instead i had nightmare how i was going to decorate my new designs and also dreamt about ashton being born. who ended up turning into a cat and bit me after i gave him his first bath and tried dressing him in a sleeper.  this is the fourth "my baby is a cat" dream i have had. why do i keep having them?! what exactly is my subconscious trying to say to me?! ::side eye:: i woke up this morning wanting ashton as a human baby to come today. i know it isn't going to happen.  my appointment yesterday said i was only 60-70% effaced. no dilation yet. which is expected. i am only 38weeks pregnant and internals don't really say much anyway. but i wish ashton was here today. i don't know why. all last month i have been telling people i hope he stays in. how i'm not ready for him,  but today i wish i could hold him and snuggle him. it's a weird day for me. obviously. i also have a strange urge to go to babiesrus and get some recieving blankets and diaper cream. is that normal?! ::shrugs:: 

btw. i wanted to bake christmas cookies for gifts to SAVE MONEY. i will not share how much i have spent just to get all the supplies needed to make said cookies. but let's just say i could have saved money buying cheap $10 gifts for everyone (which is what david wanted to do before he thought cookies were more thoughtful). these cookies better come out perfect! lol. 

37 1/2 week belly picture! 

david's biggest pet peeve is me not taking enough belly pictures. lol. so here it is. almost there. i wonder if this will be my last belly picture?! 

i feel really blessed with no stretch marks. doesn't mean they won't come though.

::crosses fingers::

and for those who want to see the progress. just in case i never do another belly picture.

yesterday was such an amazing day. not only was the weather perfect and warm (almost 80F/26C)! i did NOTHING but fun stuff. i went to williams sonoma since i am baking cookies for christmas gifts this year. i have been watching martha stewart during the days and she made some really cute santa cookies last week. i am determined to make them too. i showed them to david and he became all giddy about it. i wanted to buy all sorts of neat things. like the allclad griddle or some new pots that i DO need. maybe i will go back lol. but i ended up leaving with a new rolling pin and some sanding sugar. that's it. i think david feels like he got off lucky. but i do need some other things. especially camera stuff ::winks::.  we aren't getting a tree this year or even decorating. i don't feel like dealing with it. it's not like we HAVE room for it anyway and most of our christmas stuff is in storage and i highly doubt david wants to rummage through all of that after my whole "i'm nesting" fiasco. i am still in the christmas spirit though. i love christmas. i am excited about baking some cookies. david is worried i will wear myself out though. so i plan on taking it slow. making the dough one day and baking the next and decorating later etc. i just hope i enjoy it since i have been DYING to bake something in a long while and never had any time. 

i went to bed really early last night. i am guessing around 8:30pm and woke up at 7:30am. no potty breaks either! i slept through the entire night! i am still sick. well. somewhat. i have congestion and can't hear very well. but it's getting better. my head doesn't feel as heavy as it did a few days ago. david is starting to get ill with the same though. :o(

the weather this morning is a bit different. it's 25F/-3C right now. what a freaking difference from yesterday. it's also back to work for me today, but i feel really great. i feel refreshed and relaxed enough to try to get more stuff done without feeling overwhelmed. david really helped out a lot this weekend. bless his little soul. i love him. i still have stuff on my "list" but then i realize it's all easy stuff so i am thankful for that. maybe... just maybe i will get it allllll done today.

not exactly my ideal nursery. i did what i could in a small 550sqft one bedroom apartment. ashton's sleeping quarters for the next six months. washed and ready! his clothing is in the closet next to my very small stash of clothing. the boy has more clothing than i do. so sad ::pouts::

almost finished with our list. i can't believe how much i really needed david's help. 

without revealing too much. i had a mini nervous breakdown last night. that ended with me in tears for hours (couldn't stop them). stuffing my face in mint chocolate chip ice cream (i have hardly had any ice cream during this pregnancy) and going to bed super early! that's right, we didn't go to class last night. we were halfway there when my breakdown began. crying felt good and feel like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders. david is a bit disappointed in us skipping the class (waste of money) but i think he realizes that i am overwhelmed and need a break. i wanted to continue our class today if i felt better. however, david thinks we should stay home and tackle my to do list together this weekend. if anyone is wondering why david hasn't helped me to begin with, it isn't because he is some big meanie pants, it's because i have pretty much demanded i do it all by myself. i am very particular in how things are done. (major OCD). i think david pretty much had it with me stressing out and DEMANDS i let him help me from here on out. ::sigh:: i don't want him helping me clean the house (he can scrub the bathtub though). i also don't mind him helping with a lot of the other things that need to be done. so maybe he is right. we should stay home today and tackle a lot off that list. after all. it takes me three times longer to get things done these days. i can't bend over and find myself out of breath a lot. sleeping is a bit harder the last few days too. i wake myself up every single time i roll over. it's like running a marathon just to roll over! 

i have found 5 pediatricians to call this week. i hope there will be a winner (i.e someone accepting new patients). 

i also want to go back to that ice cream i had last night. as i was eating it i knew heartburn was to come (i was so stressed i didn't care at that point). ashton's butt has been up in my stomach for weeks now. even water gives me heartburn! so imagine my surprise when i didn't get ANY heartburn at all. i think that means he has dropped o___O. i was 50% effaced last wednesday(not much progress and really doesn't mean much at this point). i have had to pee a lot in the last few days, so i wouldn't be at allllll surprised if he has dropped. the lack of heartburn is a big sign that perhaps he has dropped. don't you think? i wonder if it was just a fluke. lol. i guess time will tell. 

99% of ashton's things have been washed! i did 8 loads yesterday. my body was so exhausted by the end of it that i ended up going to bed at 5:30pm. woke up for a brief moment to take my pill. pee etc around 11pm but i was quickly back to sleep and now i have been up since 5am. poor david. he hasn't "seen" me in days. the only time i have really spoken to him are in the mornings right before he goes to work. when he comes home i am already in bed. ::sigh:: i wish all this stuff would get done by itself. today i have MORE laundry to do. not as much as yesterday but enough to make me moan and groan about it. i wish i could just leave it there but i know i can't. folding up tiny baby clothes is a pita if you ask me. at least when it's adult size you know it isn't much folding involved lol.

tonight is our lamaze class. 6-10pm and tomorrow from 10am-6pm. ugh long weekend. i hate to say it but i am NOT looking forward to this class at all. i am so sick of classes. i am sick of sitting there for a long amount of time. i really want to be home getting things done and spending time with david. i am hoping to get A LOT done today and somehow get a nap in there somewhere so i am not miserable in class tonight. i am still sick. feeling a bit better but not enough to feel great. i am boderline depressed right now with all the crap i have to get done and not being able to spend any time with david. i am tired of being sick. i am tired of all the stupid classes. i am tired of my to do list which seems to never get any smaller. i am tired of just everything. people who are as far along as me are usually ready for this baby to be born but i'm just not. i find myself wishing i had a few more months left instead a few more weeks. don't get me wrong, i am more than excited to have ashton in our lives but i just wish i could get on track and be able to relax before he actually gets here.. i still haven't packed our hospital bag or found him a pediatrician. ugh. SICK OF TO DO LISTS! 

tick-tock-tick-tock. i am running out of time and what am i doing? researching camera lenses. i have yet to find poor ashton a pediatrician or call the hospital to make an appointment to install our carseat or even wash his clothes. but i have time to research lenses? yup. me thinks priorities are in order. ha! in my defense. with the way my mind works, a lens is important to ashton's arrival. how else am i going to take awesome pictures of him? he is only a newborn ONCE his entire life ya know ! ::side eye::. now i have to find someway to guilt trick beg david to let me get an affordable new lens that is not my kit lens. 

 

horrible nightmare.

for some reason or another i went into a coma (in my dream). when i woke up from coma i was no longer pregnant. i kept asking what happened to ashton and everyone told me he died. for some reason i just didn't believe it. so i kept asking and asking and asking and finally a friend admitted that he was alive and well and that david gave him to someone who i wouldn't even trust with a house plant in real life. when i tried confronting her to get my kid back no one believed me and refused to do a dna test to confirm he was my child. needless to say i woke up feeling very stressed about the entire dream and can't get it out of my head. i also have an extreme urge to kick david in the butt, even though it was a dream lol.

i give you the worlds most talented cat.

she dances..

and sings!

while trying to finish up my sewing projects (which you can see behind pumpkin along with our huge infant tub and lamby) pumpkin decided to play with some of my project materials. it was a nice break, now back to work i go. 

last night when we got home from our infant cpr/care (part one) class, i was looking at myself in the mirror rubbing my bare belly when david noticed me and said in amazement, "your belly is sooooo round! i think he grew AGAIN!". it really is ROUND. i can't imagine it getting any larger and i still have 26days left!  in 5 days i will be FULL TERM. can you believe it?! it has gone by so fast. especially the last month. today we will finish up our infant cpr/care class.. it's 8 hours long. long day. but i must say i think this will be our favorite class out of all our classes. 

i have kept busy this last week. my sewing list has gotten much smaller. i am to the point where it's just a bunch of smaller items left to sew! i'm still waiting on ashton's clothes. i am hoping they are here by wednesday! i would LOVE to have all of my nesting done by next weekend. but we will see. i have a habit of jinxing myself. but i am realllllly close to finishing my huge list of "to dos" regarding ashton. 

i still don't think it's really hit either of us that we are going to be parents in less than a month. we know it's coming, it's just hasn't fully sunk in. it probably won't even sink in when ashton is looking up at us lol. david and i are just a tad bit concerned that sonogram was wrong, what if ashton is a girl?! hahaha. the sonogram was pretty clear that it was a boy but you NEVER know. before we found out what we were having i invested in a lot of gender neutral items. told myself it was a boy i would NEVEr be one of those moms who would have or want tons of boy (blue) stuff. yeah i lied. i have tons of blue stuff. boys are so cute! i wonder how many other things i say I NEVER will do and will end up doing!? i told david we should sit down and write a list of things we claim we will never do and go over it when ashton is a year to see how many we broke lolllllllll. all for fun of course!

a sad reality...

tonight i realized she has some hearing loss. why can't she live forever and ever? i cried for a good 15mins when i realized her time is almost up. the thought of her gone forever makes me feel lost and lonely. i love her.